you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
