All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize