Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
