dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
