You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
