your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
