Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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