I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
