You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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