He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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