I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
