then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
