Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
