So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
