xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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