i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
