I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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