This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
