in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
