She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
