you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
