Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
