Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
