and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
