I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
