I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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