My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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