non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
