We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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