I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
