Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
