Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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