if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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