It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
