One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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