in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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