your parents love me but you hate me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
