We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
