At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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