So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
