ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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