No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
