Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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