I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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