we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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