Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
