i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
