Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
