she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
me + whiskey = a bad person
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
