she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
birth control should be required to get into college
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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