I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
