her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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