He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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