I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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