After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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