If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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