who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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