i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
