i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
