i just had sex bonerless
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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